Everything really does work out in the end
I can't tell you all the things that has happened in my life but I can tell you one thing, things do change in time.
What is my story? Well, starting from having an abusive and drug addicted father to being molested by so many uncles and my own grandfather, to going through extreme levels of poverty, I've seen quite a few things.
I've seen days where my mother was bound by ropes, I've heard her screams echo throw the wall. I remember hugging my dog and shaking in fear, praying to God to make it all stop but it didn't. It broke me to see my idol loathing me, cursing me, wishing I was dead.
My mother and I ran away and she divorced him later on. Still, to this very day, he is after us for revenge. Might sound outrageous but it is how it is.
I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. My dad's side of the family blamed me for the divorce while my mom's side stood silent usually but they still looked at me with judging eyes. "Daddy's little girl," they'd say.
Financial problems were the worst. My mother didn't have a proper job and barely managed to pay rent and cope up with the bills. My uncles were unemployed as they didn't have a proper degree. Days were hard, but we stood together as a family and fought through it.
I still stayed patient all throughout it. I would have been so lost if it weren't for my friends and family always having my back, but there still were nights were everyone was asleep and my demons took over my thoughts telling me to kill myself. I silently screamed, "WHY ME?!" I was tired of being patient and not seeing any change, tired of everything there was and what couldn't be, tired of my hopes and dreams getting crushed. But I couldn't let my demons win, I started sleeping early just to get away from the 2 am void and that kept me sane.
The change started when I met a guy and fell in love. Such a clichéd line, but it is true. I was suddenly happy, everything around me started changing. One of my friend got engaged, two of my friends got into in a happy relationship. My mother got a job, my aunt started working, one of my uncle got a job and he went away to live his life and my family is managing better. Not the best but it's manageable. I can see how everything is setting its place slowly and I've never been this happy in my entire life. I am hopefull now, I look to the brightside of things, I can't imagine what would've happened if I didn't meet him. Hopefully things will keep getting better and I'll always be able to stay happy like this.
So, here's a message to all of you who are struggling with life,
Don't ever lose hope. No matter what, you have to have faith and a strong believe that things will be alright. The demons are gonna claw at your back, grip your throat but you gotta fight those suckers and tell 'em who's boss. You are not giving up. You've fought a long time and you'll keep fighting till you get what you want.
Stay strong, be patient and keep your head up, lovelies. Things will get better.
Seanen Middleton Photography.